Growing Pains

The first couple days in Guatemala were TOUGH. I saw so much beauty in the country, the locals and the missionaries here on base. None of this seemed to soften the blow of true culture shock. Overwhelmed by the language barriers and the names alone I found myself questioning whether I belonged in “all this” even amidst God moving left and right. But, day three told a new story (typical Jesus calendar right?). 

 

We had our first free day in the large, bustling town of Antigua. I sat next to the sweetest local woman on the bus and spoke more Spanish in one sitting than my entire life combined at that point. With much help from mi amigo Google Translate we learned and laughed about each others’ lives. It was nerve racking after the first twenty minutes as I realized, once again, how far into uncharted waters I was. Once we parted ways my fluent teammate along with several others encouraged me immediately, to my pleasant surprise, in how great my Spanish was! It gave me so much confidence in Him as well as myself as a missionary. 

 

Upon arriving in Antigua, two squadmates and I branched off to check out a local coffee shop right away: a small, adorable place very open to the side street it sat on. In walk a pair of young Australian men and my friend gives me a necessary push to talk to them (this is interesting seeing that I have always hit it off with Australians wherever I go I think due to their welcoming, loud, and lively personalities). Turns out, due to their own broken Spanish, they accidentally ordered their drinks “for here”, and seeing we were all enjoying the conversation decided to join our table for a while. We ended up carrying on for well over an hour, sharing what God’s done in our lives and the love he has for us which now emanates from our very being. One was reluctant but the other, whether he knows it yet or not, is HUNGRY, I could see it in him as plain as day it was unmistakable. As we followed each other on Instagram, my friend gave them her dearly beloved bible and we said our goodbyes (not knowing we would casually run into them two more times over the next several hours).

 

On our way to lunch I walked in awe of the Lord. I laughed at the irony of coming all the way to Guatemala to minister to some Australians when it hit me like a freight train: “everything about me was literally made for this”. I fought back tears because even without knowing what life as a missionary long-term would look like I knew it would be extremely difficult and there would be a lot of loved ones I would miss dearly. I also knew that when it came down to it I was going to say yes to Him. I would likely wrestle and argue, but He would get my yes. Later in the day I thought “maybe evangelism isn’t a gift of mine but vulnerability and my testimony and my passion for what He has done in and through me are absolutely gifts; I don’t ever have to stop sharing His love.” This potential calling shook me. I wasn’t ready to share with my team but I was bursting to share with someone so I chose a very dear friend who has stood by me through every step of the World Race. The words she spoke into me were incredibly kind, humbling and bring me to tears every time I reflect: “I haven’t seen you in action but I can confidently say I also believe you were made for this. So perfectly and intentionally crafted for every person and culture you’ll encounter.” Once she shared this with me I asked God to make it blatantly and unmistakably explicit if this is what He’s calling me to. I layed outside later in the evening listening to ‘Touch of Heaven’ alone. As I set up the key swinging from my neck caught my eye, it reads “Servant”. At that point the only thing I’d learned about my prophetic key was that the greatest leaders are the greatest servants, because THE King of Kings came to serve. He spoke to me, “How deep does your servanthood go? What if you are to serve all my people? Everywhere?” Tears streamed down my face in a puddle of humility. Several days later I was partnered with a Guatemalan missionary whom I loved but we knew very little of each others’ stories and definitely not this most recent story still in mid-development. As part of activation we got together to ask the Lord what He wanted to say to the other person. After praying Diego looked up at me and said, “God says you don’t have to worry, He is taking care of your family and those you care about at home.” We hugged and cried several times as I explained to him in broken Spanish my very recent call to be a missionary long-term. I left our time together with a peace surpassing all understanding. I also received an extremely humbling perspective: that He would choose me to share His heart and His love to people everywhere, for any amount of time, much less a lifetime. I became overwhelmed once again with His love as I attempted to embrace such an honor and such a privilege. 

 

Our squad has officially disassembled into its smaller teams as planned, each retreating to their host homes throughout Guatemala. Ours is the sweet little mountainside town of Chimachoy in which we met some beautiful locals as of yesterday. As we embark on this journey I haven’t seen any blind eyes open, paralytics walk, or dead be raised (yet). But what I have seen is equally incredible, and that is the growth in our team of seven. The levels of vulnerability, encouragement, passion, dedication, and devotion throughout all of them is like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. I am ECSTATIC to see what God is going to continue to do in and through this amazing team. Each day we grow in intimacy with Him as well as each other and it is a truly breathtaking sight. I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of a group of people. Also our ministry hosts, with radiant humility, are giving us free reign and a blank slate for what the ministry in Chimachoy will look like, I’m still taken aback by the faith they have in Him and in us to hear what He wants us to do here now and for the years to come. 

 

Above all please pray for our team, the ministry to come, Chimachoy, and that His will would be done not ours. And per usual, SHARE, you just truly never know! If you’d like to support in any other way, you know where to find me!

 

Love Always, 

Jordan